As promised to all of you, am sharing another personal story of positive parenting with my son, that reflects and provides evidence that it is essential for a flourishing life, to approach with a Strength-Based Parenting in our children’s day-to-day life.
This week happens to be school holidays for our son. So, we packed our bags and headed to Sentosa, where this role play destination called Kidzania (Ivan’s favourite hangout place) is located. He enjoyed activities one after the other and was very happy.
Suddenly, I noticed that he is following one child and is engaging in activities which that child chooses. It is quite a natural behaviour among children, and I was glad that he had made friends with him so quickly. He also made good friends with an activity instructor at ‘Pizza Hut’ venue. I know that it gives him a sense of accomplishment with warm relationships that he shares with people.
However, after a few activities, I observed that his new friend was not giving any attention to Ivan’s attempts of talking to him and trying to be friends with him.
I could very well see that Ivan was about to feel a kneejerk on his emotions as his efforts were not reciprocated. Hence, I had no choice but to intervene and prevent his day from receiving an unnecessary setback. However, the challenge was to speak to him on his Strengths – Kindness, Love and Honesty.
I appreciated him of his efforts, and that he is displaying his genuine emotions with the child – Active Constructive Communication. And that how he is trying to behave in a direction towards a functional ingredient for the establishment and continuity of any relationship. And then, I reminded him of avoiding the over usage of his Strengths. Further, I gently educated him about the importance of reciprocation.
After hearing out to me, he took a deep breath and I could see a sense of affirmation in his eyes and almost instantly his friend, the Pizza Hut instructor passed by and she hugged him, talked to him and shared with me her name, Ivan’s story and experiences during the playtime of his activity. She told us that she was going for some paperwork on a different floor.
It was very kind of her to stay with us for around good 4 to 5 minutes and share that conversation. This instance got repeated another time when it was the closing time of Kidzania, where she and Ivan shared another 2 to 3 minutes in their conversation, before leaving for her home.
Well, after these two occurrences, I asked Ivan, whether he found his Strengths put to optimal utilisation today. And almost instantly he replied that he felt amazing while sharing his Strengths with the kind lady from Pizza Hut activity. He also responded that he did not feel this connection with any other instructor today.
We left that place and came back home happily, with a brimming smile on his face, not only that, we recounted the entire day at home, and I could see that he has learned so much today from an experience which if not handled with mindfulness and strengths can actually take an unwanted turn on emotions and be embedded for lifetime.
We are thankful to all people who are helping me in this journey of Positive Psychology, Strengths and Mindfulness. We will be grateful to you for any suggestions on improvement of our work through this blog.
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