MATILDA: A Good Reason For Active Constructive Communication With A Child

Amidst lots of negativity surrounded over COVID-19 news and situation, it is difficult to think of something positive. However, with our Hope and Judgement, we can still make efforts, to engage in something meaningful that distracts our mind.

One such thing that we are doing as a family, while #stayhome is reading books and watching child-friendly movies… My son (Ivan) and I recently finished reading a very famous and inspiring book – Matilda and then followed to watch the film by the same name.

At the end of the movie, he asked me something exciting, “Dadda, when is the second season of Matilda going to come?” What followed was a series of back and forth questions and answer session that goes like this:

Me: Well, it is a movie that is adapted from the book written by Roald Dahl, that you have already read. And yes, it can probably have a sequel…

Ivan: When will it come then?

Me: I guess someone needs to write a book first…

Ivan: Who will write the book?

Me: Anyone can write that book; in fact, you can write it as well.

Ivan: Really? Can I? Then how will it be a movie?

Me: Yes, you can, using your strengths of imagination, creativity, humour etc., you can definitely write a book. And when you write, you should be able to feel it, and that other people should be able to connect with it too. Because when they do, your work will be loved by them. Now for it to become a movie, producers, who are the movie makers and business persons, will be glad to make one out of a popular book.

Ivan: Who is a producer?

Me: A producer is a person who invests money to make a movie because it requires many resources and people like preparing a set, movie cameras, costumes, actors, and the like. And they all need to be paid for the work during the process of movie-making.

Ivan: Ohh…I get it. But the first one was written by Roald Dahl, can I still write the second part of it?

Me: Why not? In fact, I know of a book series identified by the name Millennium Series, that has two different authors. The first three books were written by Stieg Larsson and the next three have been written by David Lagercrantz.

Ivan: okay… (deep sigh)

Now, our conversation might have ended right there, but what I am very much sure is that there is a belief that has gone into his brain that if we imagine something and ask a question about the possibility of something, we can, in our capacity, can make an attempt to be able to do it ourselves as well.

Besides, there is a reason why Matilda is his favourite book and movie till date – he feels the urge to be able to help people come out of a situation where they are stuck. He admires the strengths portrayed by the character – Humility, Curiosity, Perspective, Love of Learning, Bravery, Honesty, Zest, Humour, Fairness, Leadership, and Hope, to name a few. They are very well classified by the Values In Action Institute on Character Strengths.

I know that we can be very much overwhelmed by the questions that keep coming from our children. However, there are still many moments, that when handled with a combination of Growth Mindset, and an Active Constructive Communication mechanism can make young minds intrigue and inspire.

This goes on to provide a positive meaning and a connection with something that is much larger a purpose.

Let Us All Make Best Use of Our Stay At Home Time, And Engage In Quality Conversations With Our Children.

With Best Wishes and Gratitude.

Stay Home. Stay Safe.

May All Be Well!

Shaleen.

Situation of COVID-19: A question from my child!!

Today, after having breakfast, we were reading his favourite story book. In one of the stories, they mentioned about a person falling sick.

The next question that he immediately asked me was, “Dadda, what is happening in the world because of Coronavirus?”

To start with, this question sent shivers down my spine, because the news that I have been following on the spread of the pandemic, and as we all know, is not good. I was wondering how should I translate all that information of people and morbidity to him.

However, the next moment something changed inside me, and I informed him that, “we can know what is happening if we check the World Health Organisation Situation Report.”

I was able to buy time, as we were figuring out the correct link on internet and loading it up on the screen. And in this time, I was thinking, how best shall I be able to help him understand the situation with a Positive approach. Gradually, I was reaching to the idea of the facts I had been myself ruminating on how I view this entire episode of pandemic. I realised that maybe this is an opportunity where I will be able to introduce few things that are usually not on the conversation list.

Below is a Parenting Approach that I followed:

  1. Resilience: With the data in our hand, we checked the situation of the region where it all started, and I mentioned that even in this virus spread, people are staying strong and firm. We performed our first calculation of the concept called Data Interpretation where we figured out ‘people who were sick but survived’. Our next calculations were on regions that did not have any deaths, and so on.
  2. Gratitude: I mentioned to him that everywhere in the world, humans are being affected by it, however, there are many places where people are safe because of so many efforts being taken by the governments, societies, organisations etc. We need to thank them for helping us keep safe, and thus Gratitude was introduced in the most organic way, something that I had never thought of earlier.
  3. Spirituality & Responsibility: The moment we finished discussing the importance of so many people in keeping us safe, he immediately mentioned, “can we all be safe?”. To which I answered, “well we can pray that may the superpower nature help us all to stay safe”. I continued, “and that we can all do our part by taking precautions of washing hands and as advised by the authorities.” This was followed by thinking good for all people in the world and a hope for everyone’s well-being.
  4. Limitations & Realism: The next question that naturally followed was on the people falling sick even after we take so many precautions. To which I explained to him, “we are sometimes limited by natural forces like the one in this scenario, and we have to think what can be practically possible.” I further continued, “our knowledge of this virus is limited and that is why we are not able to treat or vaccinate people like we do for other diseases.”

This discussion was followed by a deep breath and a family hug. We kissed each other and continued the day with care and hope.

After today’s discussion, I can sense that in this globalised civilisation, we all can collectively learn so many things from this pandemic situation. Multiple industries have different takeaways and suggestions for future preparation to minimise such scenarios from happening.

At the same time there is a large population of children and an unorganised industry of “Parenting” who are a part of it. Fear is equal for adults and children alike. However, we need to inform and guide our kids in a careful way, so that the focus is not just on fear, but on what can we learn and share in order to make our future better.

After all, today’s children are tomorrow’s future!

With Hope And Prayers.

Shaleen.

A Crucial “Moment” in Parenting: For A Child’s Positive Psychological Belief System

Today, we (my son and myself) were doing some math problems, and as we were progressing, he slowed down substantially on a problem with three single digit number whose addition was totalling to 10, which he usually does fairly fast. And it immediately struck to me that this is the “moment”. I attribute this decision to the practice of The Strength Switch (Dr Lea Waters) for ‘Perspective’ and ‘Judgement’.

We believe that Numeracy is a life-skill and not few test-clearing assignments. Every individual has to do some or the other calculation in his/her daily lives.

I will refrain from mentioning the engineering and technical calculations that are performed at lightning speed by calculators and computers, because these machines perform much faster than humans.

I am referring to the ones that we do so fast that we barely notice that we performed one e.g. how much water to add in flour to make it a soft and supple dough, how fast to reach the bus stop to catch the next bus in order to reach office on time, how much bargain should be good for handling monthly budget on purchasing items, discounts etc.

The above daily examples are now a routine, that has much to do with your tremendous amount of practice and efforts taken in your childhood while growing up.

However, as parents, we sometimes tend to forget and overlook this larger picture of math when it comes to expectations from children in their understanding, and in the situation like today’s, we might even say something to them in our frustration (comparing our competency with theirs) that it might become a belief system about themselves (because words matter to children). In some cases, it may even gradually settle down to the negative core belief system – eventually displaying in their behaviour and character for life.

Core beliefs actually are very much responsible for the kind of choices that a person makes in life. And like narrated in the example above are a product of lifelong experiences and exposure the person has.

I know this and the answers to many such questions of my behaviour and choices and those of my friends’ owing to my fair engagement into the roots and pedagogy of Psychology. Now, I precisely try to find an opportunity to make an improvement with the help of Positive Psychology.

Further, being a Positive Parenting Education Practitioner, it is imperative that I should be able to harness such “moments” with care to inform about the importance of not being fast all the time. Sometimes, we may need to slow down, maybe pause or even take a step back, to be able to accomplish certain tasks. It is just a math problem, they will be handling life-size problems that we all are unaware of owing to the VUCA World they have forayed into.

And rightfully so I did explain this to my child during our lunchtime discussion today, where our reference point was that “moment”.

Likewise in many situations and scenarios of daily parenting, we may come up with different “moments”, not necessarily when you are solving math problems but otherwise as well.

Hence, it is my humble request to all parents to identify such “moments” in life where you can play a very vital role in building a positive belief system of your child. We all must take our own moment of taking a deep breath before we say anything to them, and ask ourselves, that is this the best thing to speak to our child, and that, will this help him/her in life. If the answer is affirmative then you may proceed, else you may pause for some more time and come up with your own innovative ideas of making the best out of that “moment” for the well-being of your family.

When we take small steps like these, they go a long way in enhancing the confidence of children, and with our love & support they may aspire to achieve something otherwise unfathomable, that we all will be proud of.

With hopes and good wishes.

Shaleen.

Perspectives of a stay-at-home dad: On wife’s work-at-home weekend and child’s engagement, in the backdrop of COVID-19

I have always dreaded this situation, ‘when my wife has to work from home on a weekend and I will exhaust all my options of engaging our child.’

And now with the uncertainty owing to COVID-19 situation, this has come to a reality.

Unlike other working weekends of my wife, where I had engaged Ivan in numerous options like swimming, art lessons at NAFA, scooter rides, playing games at Timezone, and sometimes even aimless strolling – enjoying nature and weather…today was very different. Besides, Ivan was showing common flu symptoms and had to stay at home the entire week, and still some bouts of residual cough and runny nose.

In the backdrop of a recent declaration by WHO of COVID-19 to be a global pandemic, we had to take a very crucial decision in the interest of everyone’s well-being.

Finally, the verdict with common consensus was that “all of us are staying inside home, and my wife will be working from home.”

Now, it is very easy to become distressed for me in such a scenario, and which I did become today, because I started imagining continuous disturbances from our son in my wife’s work. Though I was quite vulnerable today, my wife flipped her Strength Switch ON (guess, that is what we call a teamwork).

She brought a box of play-doh from Ivan’s playroom and kept them on her working desk, and was suggesting, guiding, and instructing Ivan of some cool ideas in between her assignments . After a couple of minutes, it became an auto-pilot project, where he was self-driven and continued engagement for quite a long time, resulting into creations viz. a new species of deep blue animal, a bonfire inspired from his favourite Paw Patrol cartoon, a worm specimen that was later preserved in a test tube, and the like.

Encouraged with this, I thought how can I further engage him, so I started talking to him about our time, the space, distance of planets from earth, and slowly our discussion went into doing calculations to reach distant heavenly bodies, which though not made much sense to him but surprisingly he was very interested to see me writing and in turn started copying them onto his notebook (attached few photos as a collage). This exercise took a while, and by the time we were done, it was supper time already.

I was amazed at watching all this and was forced to think that how we can sometimes not see and think of simple ideas to do while at home, maybe due to a self-created panic. As a positive psychology practitioner, I was naturally driven to think about the entire episode in retrospection, and gradually everything started to make sense. Below is my evaluation, and as I am writing this, our son has proceeded for tonight’s slumber:

  1. The current situation is a test of everyone’s resilience and mindfulness and we all need practice to overcome it from the different settings we all are in. It will equip us well to be able to handle things in a calmer way, although there is a lot of chaos in mind and in the world; it is hopefully still doable
  2. A child is naturally curious and as parents we can easily stoke engagement by talking them gently and lovingly about things which they start to show even slightest of interest in – children have a super social brain and can find any excuse to stay connected
  3. If we make it a practice to naturally fall-back to our Strengths and make use of our knowledge and skills in few quick moments, especially in our everyday parenting – it will help our child’s brain in multitude ways, owing to its rapid development
  4. It is not always possible to be able to work-out solutions to problems instantly on our own, and we need help from another human (in my case, today, my wife’s Strengths of Teamwork, Prudence, Judgement, Creativity, Persistence, Mindfulness, Love, Social Intelligence) – confirming again that we have a need to be social and evolving together

We hope that in these tough times of pandemic, may we all connect with ourselves, our loved ones, and practise usage of Strengths and Mindfulness, to find answers to questions that otherwise get overlooked owing to the fast-paced urban life.

May All Be Well!

With Gratitude

Shajita

Active Constructive Inquiry-Based Communication: A Childfulness Anecdote

We were always fascinated by the benefits of an Inquiry-Based Learning, as supported by multiple studies. However, we never had a chance to witness and experience it with today’s intensity, in-person, until today.

Our morning today started with a series of questions and answers with Ivan, where he showed us some strange looking figures he created last night. It goes like this:

  • S: What is this Ivan?
  • I: This is a new type of animal I have made.
  • S: How do you mean new type?
  • I: It has been observed for the first time on planet earth, that is why.
  • S: So, how can we know more about it?
  • I: Maybe we need to keep it in our lab (a small room where he keeps all science related stuff)
  • S: Oh OK. Do you mean that we have to follow the development, growth, activities and patterns to be able to tell?
  • I: Yes.
  • S: OK, then how shall we classify it – whether Invertebrates or Vertebrates?
  • I: It’s too early to say that because they might undergo metamorphosis, so still under observation, however, one thing is for sure that they have seven legs.
  • S: Cool, then we can refer them to as “Heptapods”.
  • I: No, I have a name for it already. It is “iopagants”.
  • S: (I did not seek the rationale at this point, instead thought of giving him a lead, I asked him) So which Phylum and Class is it, can we tell?
  • I: What is that?
  • S: Well, you may need to research about it! (of course, we need to be realistic in our approach and expertise, we cannot know all answers ourselves, even if we know, it is better to consult expert resources)
  • I: What is research? (Meanwhile, I had to attend doorbell, so he directed his question to his mother)
  • I: Mumma, what is research?
  • A: What I understand is that you search here, you seek there, search everywhere and collect relevant information about something, then you come up with a conclusion – that is research. For example, every day you ask so many questions, like this one, sometimes you google, and then you try to make an idea out of those answers in your mind. Similarly, we do our search from many sources of information, and then come up with an idea or an understandable picture of it.
  • I: Ohhhh… (he gave a deep thought and then went ahead for breakfast)

After we were done with our breakfast, we tried to review our discussion, and realised that this discussion had some Immediate and Collateral takeaways for us a Positive Parenting Practitioner:

Immediate

  1. There is a need to document this entire episode before it becomes a passing conversation and long forgotten, we needed as a benchmark for future conversations
  2. This activity opened new portals in the brain for him to prepare his frontal and pre-frontal cortex to have an understanding of scientific nomenclature and classification; for us that we may need to upgrade our skill set to be able to handle similar occurrences in future
  3. It laid down the foundation that is most sought after – a pull strategy – a self-motivated learning culture for children
  4. It is a testament of the fact that the parent partnership model as also supported by Ivan’s school (Middleton International), does play an integral part in developing a Positive Education Process

Collateral

  1. This anecdote shares few parallels with the 4D Model of Discovery, Dream, Design, Destiny as used in “Appreciative Inquiry” (something to Research further now 😊)
  2. We never though that once a general and playful interest in LEGO bricks and pieces would lead on to become a conversation starter like this one. Truly, it goes on to say that we are only limited by our own imagination
  3. We need to follow-up with him again in few days in order to reinforce the concept of research and provide relevant examples, to support child’s developing brain

It rarely happens that our morning experiences these instances, however, today’s parenting experience has gone into becoming a history of our Familial Interactions as Strength-Based Parenting. And it has strong roots in the applications of Positive Psychology Culture with usage of Strengths, Active Constructive Guided Communication through Childfulness (a concept initiated by Ivan on 03 February 2020).

Please share your stories with us, it will help us grow as a Positive Parenting Community!

Cheers

Shajita

Re-engineered Meal Time: An Evolutionary Intervention

Complaining to Savouring: An Evolution

Like all parents, we have also had our fair share of tantrums and complaints from our toddler – when it comes to feeding. These include the usual aspects like quantity, timing, taste, colour, and the like.

Initially, we were insistent on making him understand the value of nutrition, growth, family time, dinner table meeting, and the like, and seldom this was followed by occasional feelings of distraught (it was a feeling of -5). We concluded that it was not working for either of us. Therefore, we started to take things lightly, and slowly the eating routine and tantrums cooled off (from -5 to 0).

However, we always felt that there is scope to make it even better (taking it from 0 to +5).

And there could be no opportune moment than today. It so happened that for snacks time, to pair up with nachos and vegetables, I had prepared a cheese dip that my son had asked for yesterday. I promised to make it today, and so I did.

However, every time I was dipping my vegetables or nachos in the cheese bowl, he was complaining of me – ‘being greedy’ (which I was not, though I may when it comes to tempting liquid cheese). A few times, he showed signs of becoming enraged, which I was completely ignoring (as learned from prior experiences of keeping things calm while eating).

When we all were done eating, there was still some cheese left in the bowl.

Now, seeing this, I would have become cranky, and would have complained. But this time I took a science and research way – Flicking The Strength Switch ON (The Strength Switch, Dr Lea Waters). Luckily, my exposure to Positive Psychology and Mindfulness also came handy.

I had spoken to him earlier on various instances where he had demonstrated Mindfulness, Savouring and Flow – building LEGO, doodling, sketching, Snap Circuits, and the like. Therefore, my job became a tad easier; all I had to do was to replicate it onto mindful eating and savouring food with family. Additionally, there was a need to remind of missing the opportunity of his top strength – Kindness (mischievously his mouth was agape, realising a mistake that was clearly avoidable with the usage of Strengths).

Our conversation was concluded with a written agreement to serve as a reminder of subsequent family meal times.

Now, we understand that owing to his continuous mental development, he still needs to be occassionaly reminded, we hope, that the practice will eventually become his lifestyle and will go a long way as a well-being phenomenon.

Screen Time Agreement: A Strength-Based Approach

Screen Time Agreement: A Strength-Based Approach

Today was a lazy Sunday afternoon.

I was browsing through one of the textbooks in the living room and my wife was taking rest in the bedroom after a long week of tireless and long office hours of work (that included Saturday as a working day too).

Usually, our boy is always jumping and chirping around but for more than 15 minutes, I could hear no voice, curiously, I went over and found him watching his favourite show – The InBESTigators on my wife’s phone in the study room. Well, there was nothing wrong with it, because this series is one of the best for children that I have viewed in ages.

My concern was that we had watched two episodes of this series earlier in the morning after breakfast, and taking into consideration of our screen time budgeting for the day, we had exhausted it all.

Now, usually in such scenarios, we are driven by:

  1. Selective Attention (aarghh!, screen time again…)
  2. Negativity Bias (why can’t he understand a simple thing – the limit of usage)
  3. Projection (I played so much of video games in my childhood stealthily myself) (The Strength Switch, Dr Lea Waters)

In addition to the knowledge gained from the book above, we, as a family had recently completed a course on parenting, based on strengths by the same name as the book – The Strength Switch. It helped me flick my Strength Switch to ON almost instinctively.

We checked onto the list of his VIA Character Strengths and narrowed down on few agreements that was based on some underused strengths, eventually linking them with the top strength as listed below:
1. Self-Regulation: Whenever there is an urge to do screen time, I will check with myself of daily budget, which is usually 1 hour, and moderate my screen time accordingly. And still, if there is a doubt, I can take help from mumma or dadda and talk of alternate options to make the best usage of my time and top strengths of Creativity, Curiosity, and Love of Learning.

2. Gratitude: I am grateful that I have the resources at my disposal that I can make use of, for my knowledge and entertainment.

3. Prudence: I understand that limiting my screen time will help me keep my eyes safe (using top strength of Kindness for myself), and I can avoid wearing corrective lenses for a longer time, unlike dadda, who wears glasses all the time because of his overindulgence in screen time. (being vulnerable helps big way in parenting)

4. Judgement: In the light of above-mentioned facts, it will be in my best interest to practise some of my underused strengths in conjunction with my top strengths to build a unique and robust portfolio of my Character Strengths.

We further agreed to write them down and stick on the wall as a reminder.

After accomplishing the above tasks, we gave a hug to each other and felt an increase in our trust than before. It provided a boost in our confidence for our future behaviour (him being more regulated and me being a better parent to handle such incidents).

Today, I have realised more than ever that Strength-Based Parenting is undoubtedly the effective science of parenting based on Positive Psychology. It does create a healthy environment for the child to flourish, practise strengths, avoiding the negative and criticism route.

Both the parent and child feel happy and contented!

A Monday of Childfulness :)

Love of Learning + Curiosity + Creativity = Childfulness

It was a very regular, fast paced Monday morning.

Both of us were trying our best – preparing breakfast, ironing dress, checking socks and shoes, filling water bottle, and the like; to make sure that our son catches his school bus on time.

While were in our flow zones, and in the midst of this hustle, there was one mind who was on his strengths.

Well, that is what we found out when he shared his thoughts, which in his own words were, “we must all try to develop a new skill – a combination of our 3 strengths viz. Love of Learning, Curiosity, and Creativity!”

We were surprised and questioned him further, “how and what do you mean?”

He replied, “I try to explore many things, for instance, this torch with a loop in my hand,” he continued, “I will try to hold it, shake it, circle it, open it and so on.” He wasn’t finished yet, “you call this a childish act, I would rather call it childfulness, because I have a love of learning, and I am curious to know what happens to it, by acting on it with some creative tricks.”

“And you can try this too daddy and mummy!”, he cheered.

This conversation brought all of us to a halt, we let him draft his idea on the whiteboard and hurriedly captured the moment. Though we almost missed the bus today, but I guess, the rush was worth it.

These little sparks that keep on going in their brain are a testament to the fact that how parents can support and catalyse the development of their child’s prefrontal cortex through Strength Based Parenting. These nuggets of experiences add up to increase their confidence and thereby overall well being in the long run.

Please do share your Positive Parenting Experiences!

Cheers 🙂

Optimal Use of Strengths

Strength Opposite Absence Excess

Dear #Friends & #Parents,
After introducing yourself and children to the 24 #VIA #CharacterStrengths, it is further important to find an appropriate time to be informed and let them know of their #Optimal usage.

With enhanced vocabulary of #Opposite #Absence and #Excess, below is my graphical interpretation. If we are a #dot, then:

1. Positive Right => Strength Balance (#NorthofNeutral)

2. Negative Left => Opposite of Strengths (usually #Destructive)

3. Staying at a position => Absence of Strengths (might lead to #LearnedHelplessness)

4. Going in every direction => Excess of Strengths Use (Achieving Nothing)

Thank you so much @Lea Waters @Erin Nichole Smith, @Lina Maria Aristi, @The Flourishing Center, and @VIA Institute on Character !!


#Judgement #Gratitude #Humility #Prudence #StrengthBasedParenting #PositiveParenting #MindfulParenting

Suggested Readings:

  1. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/271990953_Chris_Peterson’s_unfinished_masterwork_The_real_mental_illnesses
  2. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/333222366_Finding_the_golden_mean_the_overuse_underuse_and_optimal_use_of_character_strengths
  3. https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/Reviving-Recovery%3A-A-Supplemental-Approach-in-O’Sullivan/12319805ef9ee835d7a9d6c4b07e5e86b8a5fb40

Role & Journey of A Belief Consultant

Parents As A Belief Consultant

As our children keep growing and start making sense of their surroundings, observations, awareness, safety and to some extent in making everyday choices, there is a background process that runs in their brain, that is of building beliefs.

It is these beliefs that help them in shaping up their journey of life and making future choices as well. Hence, as parents, it is quite frequent for us to come across conversations where children keep saying that, if … … happens, it means that, … … !

In the incomplete statement above, we can fit multiple scenarios, antecedents, activating events in the first blank and plenty of corresponding consequences, behaviours and outcomes in the second blank. Moreover, it is a sign that they have started building schemas in their brain, and that with repetition, will be able to settle down to their core beliefs.

Most of the times, such conversations are around their safety and protection. However, there is a fine line that needs to be taken care of to prevent them from becoming a potential precipitant of phobia, as per the cognitive model.

Today, we are discussing an event, where our son used to exclaim on the occurrence of lightning – “If lightning gets struck with thunder, it means that humans will be harmed!” It was followed by an Autonomic Nervous System behaviour response – heightened awareness and subsequent fear. Initially we used to take this on a light note and eventually rubbish it saying, “it is ok, nothing to worry”.

However, Singapore being the ‘lightning capital’, these occurrences are frequent, and on subsequent events, we noticed that he looks up to us to seek comfort and consultation to understand as to why for us it is not an alarming event, as it is for him. We realised that it is our prerogative to make him understand this with reasoning and logic.

The next time when lightning struck with thunder, we were together outside at Tampines MRT station. It was followed by the same behavioural sequence, as mentioned above. As a first step, we hugged him and made him feel safe and comfortable. We further whispered gently into his ear that, “whenever you see lightning and hear the thunder, check if you are inside a building or covered structures, if not, then take shelter.” We told that we are safe because science has helped us by devising and installing ‘lightning conductors’.

This process is significant to shift the focus from amygdala reaction to neo-cortex response behaviour. Besides, it creates a new belief system – ‘When lightning strikes, seek for a shelter to be safe’ as opposed to the earlier dysfunctional belief. Thus, instead of getting stuck in the loop, it eventually calms down the brain and prepares it for next decision making.

This method worked fine for subsequent instances; however, this Saturday, during morning thunderstorms, he showed mixed signs of worry and inquisitiveness. Thus we resorted to explaining him the scientific reason, detailing the journey of lightning charges as they travel down the lightning conductor, all the way damping into the earth. And that how the weather reports, agencies, information on websites & applications help us even more, to stay safe.

To check his understanding, we simulated a scenario, where he is explaining to a friend who got scared of lightning. It involved enumerating the process and reasons for being safe inside a building, during a thunderstorm. He supported his explanations by illustrations using markers on easel, as depicted in the picture above.

We further blended our conversation, mentioning that he was demonstrating Character Strengths by being Curious and with the right guidance and knowledge, he will be able to build his Strengths of Bravery & Judgement. And that with this knowledge, he will be able to help anyone else, who might be in a similar situation.

After today’s interventions, we realised that in the process of growing up of our child, we, as belief consultants:

1. Need to read well through our child’s non-verbal needs

2. Modify and create new functional beliefs

3. Address their concerns by viewing them through the lens of Strengths and reinforcing it to become a healthy habit of identifying themselves with them

We realised that Parenting is a Work In Progress, and we evolve together in this journey, by taking multi-pronged positive approaches.

With Gratitude

Shajita

#PositiveParenting, #StrengthBasedParenting, #Evolution, #Flourish, #GrowthMindset, #PositiveEducation, #Science, #wellbeingofachild, #PositiveParentingEducation, #Beliefs #BeliefConsultant, #CognitiveModel, #Singapore, #Lightning, #LightningConductor, #Brain, #Schema, #Amygdala, #PrefrontalCortex, #NeoCortex, #Simulation, #Character, #Strengths, #VIA, #SBP, #Curiosity, #Bravery, #Judgement, #Kindness, #PositivePsychology, #WellBeing

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